Daredevil: Contrition
by DabbleDabble
Summary: MAJOR SPOILERS. Picking up where season 2 left off, we find Matt, Karen & Foggy battling to save Hell's Kitchen and fighting to save each other from themselves. With a new-found ally and romance in Karen, a troubled Matt has never been stronger. But neither have Fisk & the Hand. Please Read & Review, happy reading!


Author Note: Following the events of season 2. Please read & review.

Chapter One

My words hang in the air between us and all I can do is wait. I wish I could see her face, instead I'm reading her steady heart beat and I don't know if it's good or bad. She doesn't want anything to do with me anymore, and I get that. As we stand in the office of Nelson and Murdock for possibly the last time, I feel like a lump of coal has replaced my heart. Losing Elektra, losing Foggy, losing Nelson & Murdock, I can lose it all but not Karen.

I feel her move toward me and I'm paralysed. My heart hammers so hard I can barely hear anything else. She delicately takes the mask from my hands and places it over my bruised and scraped head. She inhales sharply. I don't say a word. I feel her hand caress my cheek and trail my jawline. And as fleetingly as the moment appeared, it vanishes. She pulls her hand away and just stands there.

"Karen, that woman in my apartment, her name was Elektra. She was my ex-girlfriend and a vigilante. I was helping her." I pause, "I failed, and she died. I lost her, I lost Foggy. I lost Nelson & Murdock and…." My voice cracks, the tears stream down my cheeks. I feel like God took a mallet to my soul. She's seeing me at my most broken and she doesn't even know it. I pull off the mask again and realise my hands are trembling. "And I'm losing you."

"Matt," her voice is a delicate whisper, but I can't stop my words, they pour outta me like whiskey into an empty glass. They belong out here for her to hear, this is the truth she needed from me. I'm terrified she'll abandon me like Foggy did now I've come clean but I can't ask her to stay.

"And that's okay. It's okay that you're done." I speak gently.  
"I need you, not the other way around." I manage, followed by a gulp, this is excruciating.

"I needed you to _know_ that this is who I am. I needed to put things right between us, because you are the only person, I can't—" Just thinking it sends a stab through my chest, "I can't stand losing. It terrifies me, Karen. I…" I'd be lost with her. How can I tell her that?

Her hands cup my face. God, I missed her touch.  
"I'm so sorry, Karen." I break, sobbing and she pulls me into a firm embrace.  
"I'm not going anywhere, Matt." Her velvety voice promises with her nose pressed into my ear, her lips brushing my skin.

Only God knows how much I've hurt this woman, but God knows I need her. As hard as it is to need her, I'm not scared of it. What terrifies me is losing her, and losing moments like these. Her hand wipes aside my tears and I hang my head. I shudder as I try to suppress the sobs erupting in my core. She places a calming hand on my chest, she can feel my heart.  
"Thank you for telling me the truth."

I nod. All those moments we shared in this office, brushing passed each other, bumping into each other, all of them, I took for granted. The prospect of going every day without seeing her haunts me. I wish I had realised sooner.  
"Don't be sorry." She says. She's strong, despite having her own darkness, she's strong and I love that about her.

I back away, sliding the mask back into the paper bag and grabbing my walking stick, I stop at the door then turn to face her.  
It dawns on me that this is the last time her and I will stand in this office.  
"Wait…" I'm relieved to hear her voice, only now it's thick with sorrow.  
"We've had a lot of good times here." She's talking about the office. I hear her walk around the desk and perch on it.

"It kills me that it's over. It kills me that we have to leave it on such a downer." The faint thud of her tears hitting the ground resonate through my mind. They might fall delicately against the carpeted office, but each one is a fist to my stomach. I can't bear to see her in pain.

"Our last memory of this old place doesn't have to be a bad one." I say, wearing a broken smile as I walk toward her.  
"How so?" She asks. Dropping my bag and walking stick, I stop so I'm standing a foot from her. The heat between us is palpable. We've been through so much, and over the course of momentary kisses and bittersweet nothings, we've fallen so deeply for each other that my hands find her waist before I can talk sense into myself.

"Matt…" she whispers, she's torn but I can stand another moment of tension.  
 _To hell with it._

I kiss Karen, slowly and tentatively at first, I'm waiting. The dense black coal where my heart is begins to swell with intensity. And she responds. She leans up against me as I lean into her, the kiss deepens. Wrapping her arms around my neck she lets me lift her and slide her onto the cool surface of the desk. Her hands pull off my jacket, then they pull at my shirt. She helps me whip it off. I'm on top of her as she draws me in with sensual and passionate kisses. Her soft skin rubs against mine. She pulls out of our kisses just long enough for her fingers to trace the scars and bruises across my torso.

She presses her forehead against mine as she catches her breath, and I feel like I'm home.  
"You need to take care of yourself." She whispers, the warm air escapes from her lips and fills the distance between her face and mine. I just want to close the distance.  
"No, I need to take care of you." I whisper back. She plants a kiss on my lips. She appreciates it but…  
"I mean it, Matt."

"So do I." I promise. She sighs. I pause. Detecting footsteps in the distance.  
"What is it?" She asks, concerned.  
"Someone's coming."  
"Oh god…!" She buttons up the front of her dress and I'm grabbing my shirt and pulling it on. She's already on me, helping me put on my jacket. I grab the paper bag and my walking stick, and the door opens.

"Oh…" Foggy's voice says.  
"Foggy…" Karen exclaims, "what're you doing here?"  
"I was looking for Matt."  
"Oh, I'll give you guys a minute."  
"No, Karen. Stay." Foggy says. My heart plummets, I don't think I can take another blow from Foggy.

"It occurred to me that this might just be my first Christmas in over ten years without Matt. Without Nelson & Mudock, and I just…I guess I just…" Foggy trails off, he's fighting back tears. Karen walks over to him and comforts him. Foggy pulls away from her.

"You smell of Matt's aftershave. Are you guys… uh…" his voice grows frustrated. "Matt, you have to tell her."  
"He did."  
"Oh… alright. Then…Uhm, where was I…"  
"Foggy, this doesn't have to be over between you two." Karen says, but she doesn't know Foggy like I do. She doesn't know how hard this has been on him.  
"Let him say goodbye, Karen."  
"Good bye, buddy. Good luck… with all of this." Foggy says, "I start up at a new firm next week. Karen, I'll see you around."  
"Foggy, wait!" She calls. It pains her to see me and Foggy like this too.  
As Foggy walks out, Karen follows him but then stops. She chooses to stay with me.  
"God damn it, Matt. All he needs is to see you fight for the friendship!" She's saying.

"Karen, this was hard on him. I lied to him about who I really was for _years_. And all he ever did was back me up and save my ass. Let him go. Me and Foggy are finished. Nelson  & Murdock are through."  
"Doesn't it hurt you?"  
"It kills me, Karen." My words leave her quiet. A moment later, she's putting on her coat.  
"I'll walk you home." She says, flustered by something.

I don't push it.  
"Sure." I croak. She takes me by the hand and walks me out of Nelson & Murdock. As I hear the door swing shut for the final time, I wonder if Foggy even looked back. I'm going to miss the sound of that creaky door swinging open and giving me a world of Karen, Foggy & countless cases. It was my safe place.  
Her hand pressed in mine, I'm acutely in tune with how I feel with Karen by my side. She's home and I'll cherish what I love for as long as I have it. For Castle, for Elektra, and for everything I've lost.

We walk in silence, hand in hand. The city is lit up with Christmas lights. I know this because Karen keeps glancing up and she loves colourful lights. I can feel the different intensities of heat given off by different shades of lights on my cold skin as we stroll to my apartment.

Stopping by the door, I'm surprised when she halts.  
"Come up. If you want to…" My gentle words receive a pause. She's hesitating. What changed?  
"Not tonight, Matt. Merry Christmas." It's a blow. And she notices. "Are you gonna be okay?"  
"What happened in the office," she says then pauses again. I dread what's coming.  
"We got caught up in the moment. I still… I need some time. To deal with all … this." I take in a deep breath then nod.  
"Take as long as you need. I'm sorry I kissed you."  
"Don't be. I'm not." She promises. She plants a kiss on my forehead and walks away.

Heading into my apartment, I go straight for my suit and pull it on. I climb the stairs and walk out onto the roof, perching on the edge of the apartment block I listen out over my city. I listen to Karen's footsteps as she safely makes it home then I listen to Foggy and Marci laughing in a bar nearby. I listen for the merry families celebrating together, for babies being born. I listen and listen until the joy and laughter descends into sirens, gunshots and cries for help.  
It's time to get to work. 


End file.
